It Was Never Locked
A friend recently sought my help as a coach. She was feeling trapped and miserable in her job and her life. We talked through her options. I asked questions. I listened for the “shoulds” and...
View ArticleI Want That
I had lunch with a colleague recently. He asked me what kind of issues I’m working on with my coaching clients. I told him* about a favorite client who emails me at 5 a.m. every morning. This...
View ArticleMuseum Happiness
I have a new favorite, quiet place in Seattle. Stuck downtown by a three-hour break between coaching clients, I headed to the downtown library. On the way there, I happened to see a sign for the Frye...
View ArticleCoffee Breath
I was kissing awake my 5-year-old daughter the other morning, my heart filled with love for that sweet, sleepy, warm body. From under the pillows, the most offended little voice said, “Your breath...
View ArticleName Neurosis
I never remember names. I can know people for years and not have a clue what their name is. This has developed into a pretty rich neurosis, where I won’t say someone’s name even if I’m sure what it is,...
View ArticleIt’s Not About You
A favorite coaching client recently received a troubling performance review. He feels paranoid: his colleagues seem to be distancing themselves, as if they somehow know. He described a coworker who...
View ArticleThe Running Group
I had a random idea awhile back. What if I started a running group and invited people who had never run before to come with me? Running is all well and good, but I only do it for that clear, calm,...
View ArticleMess or Music
I’ve been thinking about mess. Messy rooms; messy corners of life. I have a coaching client who is trying to turn down the noise in her life. Too many demands, too much complexity, too much chaos. She...
View ArticleGTD Meets Zen
I’ve discovered something cool. Maybe everybody does this already. But I thought I’d write about it in case it could be helpful to you. I try to meditate a couple of mornings a week. I do it in a way...
View ArticleLockdown Frugality
Everyone’s going skiing. “See you on the mountain,” someone called after the last soccer game of the season. We won’t be there. We’ve been in lockdown frugality since I quit my full-time job last year....
View ArticlePebbles
My approach to coaching is to keep it simple. I look for the small, incremental changes that will make a difference in my clients’ lives. The thing about living the kind of life you want is that it...
View ArticleThe Wet Blanket
I have a favorite coaching client who wakes up to dread every morning. She wakes up dreading her day. I asked her what the dread felt like. “Like a warm, wet blanket,” she said. “A gray, wet, stifling...
View ArticleFinding Flow
Several (well, many) years ago, I said I wanted to learn how to play the piano before I turned 40. The piano has always seemed like one of those impossible mysteries, like speaking French. Or dancing....
View ArticleSmall Joys
“I’m not a crier,” said a favorite coaching client. “I’ve tried to cry over this, but the tears don’t come.” My client has a young child — and a job she loves. She’s an executive at a company you’ve...
View ArticleHeavy Weights
As a personal coach, I spend a lot of time helping clients clean up and throw away the crap in their lives that takes up a lot of emotional space: stuff ranging from dirty man caves to “taker” friends...
View ArticleYou Need a Coach!
Just as athletes, musicians, and executives rely on coaches, a personal/professional coach can help you flourish on the complex, demanding stage of your life. To me, this means finding meaning, joy,...
View ArticleFrosting
Caution: this is a story about female sexuality so please stop reading if you are offended by such things and are likely to flame me. It’s my birthday today and I don’t want to be flamed. At a lovely...
View ArticleAre You Ready Yet?
I have a favorite coaching client who talks me up to a friend of hers. My client thinks I could help him make some positive changes in his life. “I’m not ready yet,” her friend says. “Not yet.” I know...
View ArticleMy Own Project
A friend told me about visiting a favorite aunt. This aunt had been unhappily overweight most of her adult life and now, at 70, is trim and healthy. My friend exclaimed over the change and the aunt...
View ArticleHighway Fear
I have a friend who is afraid of highways. She loses sleep if she knows she is going to have to drive on one. Loses weight. Organizes her life to avoid them. I respect deep-seated fears and don’t tend...
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